Life Infront Of Me

August 22, 2010. A usual morning, I got up from bed, prepared for work, had breakfast and off I go. It was an ordinary Sunday until *BAMMMM* the jeepney I was on hit a tree. I can smell the old tire and gasoline. I can see the spare parts and hear the cries of the people around me. "I musn't be scared." That's all I ever told myself. I reached for my cellphone and asked my mom to come over for help. I can't feel my knee anymore. It's numb. I pulled myself out of the jeepney fearing that it might explode. I saw it with my own two eyes. The blood. The torn skin. The bone peeking from my flesh. I breathed with all my might coz I have to be strong for myself. No tears, I say. I kept myself calm until I got to the hospital. There I was, being the strong woman that i never thought I could ever be. I went to the Operating Room. Stitch, stitch, stitch, and my wound's now closed. While I was in the Recovery Room, I was injected with a pain reliever that ALMOST GOT ME KILLED. It was like that injection was sucking life out of me... I told myself I had to live. Short breaths. Shorter breaths. tooot. tooot. zzzzzzZZZZZZZ. I'm awake and I'm still alive! I saw my life infront of me. I was dying in that moment. My eyelids were half-closed because I try to keep myself alive. I fought for breath. I fought for life. I fought for my mom, my sister, everyone. I fought for God. I cried each time I remember what happened. I should've not gone out home, I should've not ridden that jeepney, I should've stayed home a little longer or got out earlier. I should, should, should but I did and I won't be able take things back. Questions linger my head. Why does this have to happen to me? Am I that bad? Do I ever deserve this? Will I ever get back to normal? Then I thought of how lucky I was to be alive, lucky I am to be able to breathe and sit and talk. I'm lucky to have lived. I wouldn't put this life God gave me to waste. Maybe this is His answer to my wish, which I asked him last August 21, 2010 .... "I want to start a new life..." and so, here it is. A new life. A fresh start. A clean slate. A beginning...